Jeonju Archery Part 1.

Before I left Wonju, the archery Sabomnim (teacher) told me something. He said:

"In Jeonju, there is Ch'eongyeongchang, a very well-known archery club. Go there."

He also said:

"Practice before you go there, I don't want them saying I'm a bad teacher."

Well, it was cold when I left Wonju, so I did one of those two things. In my defense I did shoot at least once a month--snow or no--but that's not exactly regular upkeep, especially for someone who's just learning, who hit the shed and broke an arrow their 'jip kung' (first shooting ceremony).

But fast forward. Three or so weeks ago I found the CYC (I'm not typing all that again). I introduced myself, brought beer and my bow, and asked for--by name--the instructor.

Well, he retired. He was now making the bows, which I guess is what instructors do sometimes. After numerous broken conversations, he called my former instructor, and I was let in the club. I was told my bow had been poorly cared for (a month in storage unattended) and they tried to repair it. I shot from the line and hit ... the grass.

There is sand by the targets, if you're wondering.

Incidentally, at CYC they don't drink beer until they are done shooting. It is not a social club. It is an archery club, where the Chairman of the Korean Archery Association resides, where the instructor can hit 39/45 at 145m with an unbraced unsighted longbow, where nearly every shooting spot is full at 4 pm on a sunny ... weekday.

Not that Wonju's not cool, and that the sabomnim there can't hit over 30/45, just that, well, Wonju is a smaller and warmer town. If it rains you put your bow up and drink maggolli and if the rain stops ... you may as well keep drinking maggolli, so what it was a good day.

In any case, several of my most frustrating moments, days, weeks followed, mostly involving me snapping my left forearm with 44 pounds of pressure, repeatedly, leaving bruises that would take weeks to heal (and torn skin on top of those) as I demonstrated that I had forgotten my technique.

When I asked for help, I was told "change your shirt." I wore a dress shirt. I should've worn a polo. But in Korea they call polos "t-shirts" because ... I don't know. Unsurprisingly, being told to change my shirt did not prevent me from snapping my arm the next three out of three shots and, following suit, I nearly snapped at the instructor (who is the highest ranking one can achieve in a country that regularly produces Olympic gold medalists) but thankfully didn't.

So when I came back in a tee, I was told, by someone new (this time, the aforementioned Chairman), "change your shirt." By this time--two weeks later--my arm hurt less (a bilingual had corrected my technique, a subject the instructor steered clear of) and I was more willing to go shopping.

I returned today, having spent weeks shooting an arrow tied to a rope, determined not to waste time despite invitations from my seniors, with a cheap polo.

Because I was shooting off the line.

And I hit the grass three times and the sand twice, but my arm not at all. And my direction was good on all shots.

Korea Times Uses "Bromance" in Headline

Blessed are those that learn the latest idioms of another language, then they can appear as stupid as native speakers.

Here:http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/art/2010/01/141_59416.html

'Brothers' Offers Bittersweet 'Bromance'

(Since I didn't put it up here, FYI the Korea Times is the paper that featured an article based on Weekly World News, here: http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2009/12/113_57334.html)

Half the Women in My Yoga Class Agree: I Need to Tighten My ..

.. sphincter.

Yup.

Let me back up a bit. (No disgusting pun intended.)

As you may have read, my (now former) yoga instructor is pregnant. Recently she reached a point where the pregnancy disallowed her to teach us the more intense yoga poses and moves, so we have a new teacher.

I personally quite like the new teacher. She's willing to correct me quite often (needed) and a change of poses/methods is always good.

She specifically emphasizes breathing. Pilates-style, stomach contracted, slow, deliberate breathing.

To this end, we were doing a warm up exercise last week: While sitting on our knees with hands outstretched to the sides, we would ball our fingers into a fist, then release, breathing in when we clenched and out when we released.

The yoga instructor said something, looked at me, then looked at one of the women in the class who speaks very good English. "Tell him," she said.

And the English speaker said, "Darren, when you make a fist, you need to tighten your ..." and gestured with her hand along her abdomen and buttocks.

"Okay," I said, and tightened my chest and buttocks.

"No, she said, tighten your ..." and did the same gesture.

The instructor then said "kwalyeokgeun," and the English-speaker shrugged.

Thinking I'd understood, and the word was of no importance, I confidently said "Algessumnida." The instructor shook her head, and we proceeded with class.

After class I met up with four women: The English-speaker and three of the best yoga students. The English-speaker again said, "When you tighten your fist you tighten your, ..." I said, "chest, buttocks," and another woman intervened.

This other woman, who I will call Yoga Master, is amazingly strong and flexible. But I've never heard her speak English beyond "hello" and such. And so I was all the more surprised when she said:

"Sphincter."

After eight months in Korea I'm proud of the body parts I know. Arm, leg, body, head; more recently I've acquired nose, wrist, mouth, eye, thigh, and buttocks. Rectal locations (other than the butt which you put your hands under when doing leg-lifts) never ranked terribly high on my list of things to learn, but for some reason (I'm hoping she used a phone-dictionary) she knew this one.

The English-speaker, who was using her phone dictionary when this interruption occurred, concurred, "Yes, sphincter! Do you know 'sphincter,' Darren?"

"Yes," I said. "I do. I should tighten my sphincter?"

"Yes! Your sphincter!"

We confirmed that we were talking about the same body part using hand gestures that maybe we should've tried earlier, gestures I'm not going to detail here.

Then the five of us went out in the hall, and two or three of the women demonstrated the exercise.

We all had our hands out, extended fingers, and gradually balled them into a fist as the English-speaker said "Breathe in and tighten your sphincter," and the Yoga Master echoed, "sphincter," and I echoed, "tighten my sphincter." And then we released the fist, the English speaker said "relax your sphincter," and the Yoga Master and I echoed "relax your sphincter." And then we did it again, but this time all of the women chimed in: "Breathe in, tighten your sphincter." And we ended in perfect unison: "Breathe out, relax your sphincter."

[Of course there's no picture. ]

A Word for Wedgie!~

Sorry, Kim.

엣찌 있게 (et-chi it-ge)

(I actually saved it on my phone as a memo and forgot ... shame on me!)

Edit:
Kim tells me that this is just a word for "Edgy," as in fashion-forward. Konglishlly speaking, that makes perfect sense. Back to the drawing board.

No Word for Wedgie

The lifejacket had under-leg straps, which pulled our swimsuits up into "you-know-where."

Just a week ago, at Ocean World, I swear Park taught me a simple word for "wedgie." (After watching several women in bikinis go down a very steep slide, it was highly topical.)

So I asked Kim, "Kim, what's the Korean word for wedgie?"

"Well, we don't have a noun." (We must note that Kim is getting his Master's in English right now and was reading "English Syntax" on the van.)

"We say 'Butt ate trousers.' "

"Eongdongi-ga paji-rul meogeotda." (Politely: meogeosseoyo. But really, is this a "polite" topic?")

Somebody, tell me a noun for wedgie. It's not that I want to prove Kim wrong. It's that, like intelligent life, or peaceful coexistance .... I know it's out there.

[No picture ... is there an appropriate picture? I don't think so. So no picture.]

Conversations I Haven't Had in Korean: "How Far Along Are You?"

The other day, my yoga instructor told me she was pregnant. Well, not in those exact words. "Me -- baby," was what she said. I said "Congratulations" in English (I don't know it in Korean) and then "Choayo" (that's good).

Normally at this point the polite thing would be for me to ask how far along she was. She definitely wasn't showing. But how do I do that? "Onje yo?" Literally, when, could mean when it would be due or when it was conceived, and I probably cound guess from context (in the future or the past) what she meant, but it'd be better if I could ask "When + [due date or conception date]?"

Sadly I don't know any even polite terms for intercourse, much less conception, and that wouldn't be the most polite approach, anyway. I could ask when she was due maybe by saying "Onje ai sargesseoyo?" (Literally, when will it intend to live, because I don't know a proper future tense yet.) Maybe "Onje ai sarolkeoeyo?" (When will it probably live?) But neither of those are terribly polite.

Being fluent in the universal lecture of gestures, my next thought was to try to communicate by hand movement either (1) a baby being born or (2) a baby being conceived. The latter is easy, but again, impolite, and the former ... well the best I could do was either (a) make a circle with my hands and gesture, using a forearm, something large coming out, or (b) make a basketball hoop with with my hands/arms and poke my head through.

Then I thought, "Perhaps I could even combine the gestures and completely humiliate myself."

This left me with only the typical stranded foreigner option: Wait for someone else to relay the information to you, if you're lucky. This approach beats offending everyone in eyeshot and earshot, though.

(Of course, by the time I had figured all this out four other people had entered the room and we had already begun yoga class.)

Quote of the Day

"South Korea is a nation addicted to speed."

Credit: Arirang TV, in a special about motorcycle delivery in Seoul. If my school in Wonju can hire a handful of native speakers to teach, do you think maybe they could hire one to edit?