Cherry Blossom HIke; Save Michael

Michael Jackson, in many ways, is like a Korean Cherry Blossom. He is dead and was very pale when alive. And you really didn't see him very often.

Okay that's a bit tasteless but it's the only way to tie in a day of hiking with this picture.

At Geumsansa (Gold Mountain Temple--I could recognize all the Chinese on my own! Woot!) many of the blossoms had already fallen but in the flickr link please see those that hadn't. Most notable are a striking pink and white tree next to each other and a green tree. The subtle differences in color aren't noticed most of the time and the white/pink ones are beautiful but there's something about them together. There was also a cute

Then, walking around Jeonju, we had two women unfurl a Taegukgi with Michael on it. It read "Justice 4 Michael, Korea will always be with you." Cha Won, who is Korean and speaks Korean, translated. For some reason these women were collecting signatures to send this flag-thing to Los Angeles to get Justice for Michael. I get the feeling the fact that it seems to make no sense is not due to language barrier so much as sheer irrationality. So, while I normally ignore people who want me to sign something, I jumped on board with this one. They were kind enough to even email me the pic the next day.

Flickr Links:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/badukkong/sets/72157623767826145/

Hit the Damn Target!

Twice in one set of five arrows.

Take that, chunk of wood!

There is no feeling like having old men who were entirely skeptical about your existence and asked "did he hit one?" be told, by other, more optimistic old men "he hit two" and thinking maybe you actually belong on the shooting line.

Poem (you can't use random words and horrid grammar in conversation, but there's one place it's welcome):

눈오전에맞 / 사대에서 봤지만 / 꽃샘 같이도
With cold spring winds I / from the shooting line saw hits / before the snow fell. (Lit: before the snow fell, hit / from the shooting line saw but / together with the cold wind also)

The Shoes Make The Woman

Before coming to Korea I never would have considered some things "pluses."

Things like "she usually chews with mouth closed."

Or "she does not wear high heeled shoes to the park or hiking."

Or "she does not seriously expect me to believe she is a 32-year old virgin."

But after a year here, each of those are rare traits. And while I have met women who do not do those things (save one woman who was in her late 20s and may well actually have been a virgin) and they are generally my friends, these women, if looking around and talking to other friends is any indication, are finds.

For example, my coworker explained to me that it is important that his wife lie to him and he believe it. They married at 27. They *ahem* before they were wed. But he was the first man she ever kissed. Mmm hmm.

The shoes thing will never cease to amaze me. Six-inch stillettos? Perfect for a day at the mountain! Why? To look like you have longer legs! And men seriously go for this, I guess. I would slap anyone who did that.

Fortunately today, meeting a few friends from my yoga class I did not have to slap anyone. (Funny how "yogachingu" (yoga-friend) and "yojachingu" (girlfriend) are so similar, but I Freudianly digress.)

The cute nurse who speaks pretty good English wore converse-like shoes. The kicker? She had makeup on, which she usually doesn't at yoga. And even then, she didn't look that different.

I think I'm in love, which just goes to show how standards change (let's not say "are lowered") in a new culture.

To not push the envelope, I'm going to wait a while to ask the "ever kissed a man" question. And I'll try not to laugh nomatter what she says. I'll just hope she doesn't ask me back.

My Korean Really Impresses People Who Don't Speak Korean

"Wow that was amazing. I totally could get none of that."

That's what an acquaintance of mine said after listening to me translate our conversation to our archery teacher. She had talked about a variety of things including personal and professional past and future (planned) events and, in simplified form, I related all of those. He nodded and said something like "Oh I get it."

Another time: "Man your Korean is really good, to me that was just a string of words."

This is what another acquaintance--in fact, the one who introduced me to archery and who speaks adequate Korean (although he stopped studying a few months ago)--said when I related a story in Korean. We had been talking with a man who spoke pretty good English (better English than my Korean, definitely) but he didn't understand the last point. So I simplified and related, in my most current 2d language.

The problem is, Jack--my friend--was not the only one who felt that way. The Korean man said, in perfect English:

"Yes, what was that? I didn't really understand."

That's the problem. People nod to show they are listening, not necessarily that they understand. Generally Koreans react the same way to my long-winded Korean attempts that non-speaking expats do: "That was an amazing series of words that I could get no meaning from."

Misconjugated verbs and gerunds, dropped particles (mark subject and object and often function like our prepositions), poor pronunciation, and sometimes simply made-up words that I have no idea where they came from have been known to regularly emit from my mouth. But in the meantime, I assure you: If you don't speak Korean, I can amaze you with mine.

Korean Wedding Etiquette

Here Comes the Food!
Here Comes the Food!
Give Us Some Money and We Will Feed You!

That pretty much sums it up. K weddings are a big deal, and big business. "Wedding Palaces," "Wedding Towers," and even Wonju's own "Wedding Opera House" (which attempts to look like 95% old castle and 5% Disney product). K weddings get together huge groups, including even casual acquaintances (generally), who then proceed to ignore the ceremony and eat.

No, really.

To be fair, my friend Kim Cheong-rae, who was kind enough to invite me to witness him betrothe a German woman, admitted his wedding would be short on ceremony. "People just come for the food. We're not going to waste their time with much chatter."

You could say the same thing about wedding receptions in the US (that I've seen) but the overtness here is drastic. Drinking during the vows and talking loudly? Okay! Especially if you're an old man. Helping yourself to the buffet and another beer while the bride gives a speech? Fine! Crowding in front of others to take pictures whenever you feel like it, even crowding the betrothed and getting in their way? Cool!

Well, fine so long as you ponied up.

K-weddings do not waste time with registries. Why buy a gift? We'll get it for ourselves. The traditional gift is ... an envelope full of cash! And YES YOU HAVE TO. The men who sit at the table by the entrance (just behind the Groom's mother) have a list of invitees. Only those who give the men envelopes will get tickets for the buffet, and your buffet tickets WILL be checked before you are allowed to graze from the tables in the back room.

To Cheong-rae's credit he personally handed out the tickets (to anyone who bothered to go up and congratulate him) and didn't ask if you'd "given" first. (Although it was rather quickly after I told him that we three foreigners did pitch in that he invited us to the after-BBQ. Hmm. (Kim: Kidding!))

Video NOT of Kim's wedding but for cultural reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qNOevO8ytc

Picture: Mr. and Mrs. Kim, the best I could capture them from a seated position. (Same last name as 40% of the population here or something like that. Good thing they trace ancestry very carefully but I don't think it's an issue for them.)

An Inflatable Tour Next to No Man's Land, Part 1

Part 1: Invitation

One of the world's most pristine nature preserves is buttressed by long barbed fences and guarded towers. Entry is forbidden, but regularly subterranean attempts are made by one side. Found, dismantled, and tolerated by the other side, this patient side encourages a bit of tourism. Nearby museums tell the story of an extremely bloody proxy war that resulted in no change to the political geography, but a leveling of the local topography and populace.

And if you want, you can go rafting nearby. Like we did.

Just a day or two after Kim Jong-un had proclaimed he would “wipe out’ the United State sif the US engaged in any "acts of agression" (defined as acts of non-capitulation), I was with a friend at our Tae Kwon Do instructor's house enjoying some beer and soju. He invited us to go rafting along a river very near the De-Militarized Zone (DMZ).

Normally I don't say no to rafting, or even risque tourism. (Who arrived in Rio at 3 a.m. by themselves barely speaking Portuguese?) But being blatantly white and floating down the border did not appeal to me. What happened to the last two Americans that got near that border? Well, they're in Pyongyang somewhere, and one even called her family recently.

I have no offspring but still for some odd reason I never put "being kidnapped" in my touring itinerary.

So, back to our invitation. The other foreigner I take TKD with had already accepted. My hesitancy was noticed.

He reassured me that the river was clearly outside the DMZ and that we had nothing to worry about. In fact, it was so safe that we would be traveling with ... two buses full of young (elementary school age) tae kwon do students. Although this information gave me another reason to pause, it did assuage my fears of abduction and violence. I agreed to go.

Then he told me to be at the school by 7:20 a.m. on Saturday morning. (As soon as I get a chance to write about the English Club, you will know that is far too early.)

Still, I dragged myself into an ambush of "ai" (children) in the early morning. Able to sleep only briefly on the bus, i took in the ever-hilled and forested countryside for a few hours until we arrived at Ch'eorwon.

More information: http://www.lifeinkorea.com/culture/dmz/dmz.cfm?Subject=central

Picture inset: A tank outside the entry to the museum that will be mentioned in Part 3.