Thank You, Something Awful

SA is a hit-and-miss place, but here are two hits for the Korean audience:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/kim-jong-il.php

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/photoshop-phriday/kim-jong-il2.php?page=1

(and as a footnote lemme say Korean allergy medicine makes me feel really funny ... like even if I was still sneezing it'd be cool, man)

An Inflatable Tour Next to No Man's Land, Part 5

Part 5: The Labor Party Building, and Lunch

After the museum, we went to the ruins of a building that the North used to torture party opponents before the war had ended. All we can see is the skeleton of the building, but signs tell us that various "instruments" (wire, screws, guns, knives) were found in the back and that there used to be a saying, "No one who goes in comes out a whole person."

But that wasn't nearly as depressing as it should be, because next we left for the "second most delicious food in the word." If you are a vegan, the second most delicious food is rice, kim chi, and another side dish (I forgot what). The meat-eaters enjoyed large servings of a chicken stew with potatoes and carrots. (I have previously picked the potatoes and carrots out of this dish and must admit it is grand.)

(Photo: The ruins of the Labor Party Building)

An Inflatable Tour Next to No Man's Land, Part 4

Part 4: The Museum

Next we visited a museum of the Korean war that sits atop such a hill that you have to take a monorail tram to and from the museum.

A drawing of a deer greeted us on our way in. This is not the typical cartoon for cartoon’s sake. As mentioned, the DMZ is a wildlife preserve. After nodding callously to Bambi’s ilk a visitor can tour the staggering statistics and relics of war, and then step outside for some uneasy sunshine.

From the verandas one can look out into the DMZ, and even drop 500 won (40 cents) to use binoculars and attempt to see wildlife and ruins. Pictures are again forbidden.

(Picture: Caroline looking at a child looking out into the DMZ. As this was taken behind the "no photo" line and doesn't show (I think) the things they don't want you photographing, I think it's all right.)

An Inflatable Tour Next to No Man's Land, Part 3

Part 3: The Second Tunnel

Second on our tour was, rather conveniently, the Second Tunnel. The Second Tunnel is one (actually, the second, as you may have guessed) of three tunnels the North used to invade in the Korean War. Larger than the prison escape tunnels I've seen on TV but small enough to be uncomfortable, the hard hat we were provided on entry proved useful and necessary more than once. Photographs were prohibited and would be unimpressive; it is not the appearance of a tunnel that means something, it is strolling the path of hundreds of thousands of soldiers that strikes a chord.

Again the paradoxical peace rears its head: it is said the North is still tunneling across the DMZ, and that patrols regularly find (and close) the next would-be attack tunnel.

Picture (of us outside donning hard hats) will follow when I get it from the instructor.

An Inflatable Tour Next to No Man's Land, Part 2

Part 2: Ch’eorwon

Ch'eorwon is, to my knowledge, the South Korean city closest to the DMZ.

The DMZ itself is something of an ongoing contradiction. A war that never ended (and an armstice that was recently repudiated) left a parallel double-boundary between states. Nearby the population is sparse. The fields are very fertile, and supposedly the best rice in the (Korean) world is grown here. As you approach the DMZ, you encounter guards with automatic weapons with bayonet ends stationed in ... cartoon-decorated towers. You are allowed passage into the nearby area, but not into the DMZ. (Though I have heard recently wildlife expeditions have been started.)

In the middle of the DMZ lie the ruins of an ancient castle that neither side can excavate, should there even be anything left therein.

(Picture inset: The tip of a rifle sticks out behind a cartoon fox in a checkpoint.)

An Inflatable Tour Next to No Man's Land, Part 1

Part 1: Invitation

One of the world's most pristine nature preserves is buttressed by long barbed fences and guarded towers. Entry is forbidden, but regularly subterranean attempts are made by one side. Found, dismantled, and tolerated by the other side, this patient side encourages a bit of tourism. Nearby museums tell the story of an extremely bloody proxy war that resulted in no change to the political geography, but a leveling of the local topography and populace.

And if you want, you can go rafting nearby. Like we did.

Just a day or two after Kim Jong-un had proclaimed he would “wipe out’ the United State sif the US engaged in any "acts of agression" (defined as acts of non-capitulation), I was with a friend at our Tae Kwon Do instructor's house enjoying some beer and soju. He invited us to go rafting along a river very near the De-Militarized Zone (DMZ).

Normally I don't say no to rafting, or even risque tourism. (Who arrived in Rio at 3 a.m. by themselves barely speaking Portuguese?) But being blatantly white and floating down the border did not appeal to me. What happened to the last two Americans that got near that border? Well, they're in Pyongyang somewhere, and one even called her family recently.

I have no offspring but still for some odd reason I never put "being kidnapped" in my touring itinerary.

So, back to our invitation. The other foreigner I take TKD with had already accepted. My hesitancy was noticed.

He reassured me that the river was clearly outside the DMZ and that we had nothing to worry about. In fact, it was so safe that we would be traveling with ... two buses full of young (elementary school age) tae kwon do students. Although this information gave me another reason to pause, it did assuage my fears of abduction and violence. I agreed to go.

Then he told me to be at the school by 7:20 a.m. on Saturday morning. (As soon as I get a chance to write about the English Club, you will know that is far too early.)

Still, I dragged myself into an ambush of "ai" (children) in the early morning. Able to sleep only briefly on the bus, i took in the ever-hilled and forested countryside for a few hours until we arrived at Ch'eorwon.

More information: http://www.lifeinkorea.com/culture/dmz/dmz.cfm?Subject=central

Picture inset: A tank outside the entry to the museum that will be mentioned in Part 3.